I've been so wrapped up in my job search i hadn't had time to see Kate in a while, i didn't want her to feel like what we had wasn't real. Because it was the only peice of reality i had had in a long time. So i picked some flowers for her and made my way to this camp place. I don't think i'm supposed to be here...wait...i know i'm not supposed to be here. But i HAVE to see her. I steathily find her room and watch her through the window. Shes got her eyes closed, seems to be a bit frustrated and sad i hope this wasn't because of my recent actions. It just so hard....coming from prison doesn't make you the best candidate for a job. I open the window quietly, and slip inside. I place the flowers in front of her and then quickly place my hands over her already closed eyes.
"Guess who?" I say, kissing the side of her neck softly. "Oh, you don't know...let me give you a few cluse." I kiss her neck again, nibbling on it gently. "It's a person who really likes you, and is extremely sorry for neglecting you in any way....and hopes she hasn't made you sad because she didn't mean to hurt you." I kiss the base of her neck gently and then move one hand to run through her hair. I love her hair, it beautiful...the color, the smell...the feel of it in between my fingers. I didn't realize until now how much i truly missed her. I bring my nose to her hair, smelling its sweet perfume...intoxicating.
"So now Kate...do you think you can guess who i am?"
I let out a gasp as someone covers my eyes but I bite my lip and fight the urge to smile when I recogniize the voice immediately.
"Alicia. What are you doing here?" I wiggle my way out of her grasp and turn to face her, making sure she notices the frustration on my face.
She's still pissed, shes shooting daggers at me with those eyes. I pick the flowers back up, and smile.
"C'mon babe, don't be like that...i got you flowers." I shake them a bit and hold them out to her. She's not giving in so easily. I let out a deep sigh and place the flowers back down. I pull her back into my arms, speaking softly. Almost in a whisper,just enough so she could feel my breath on her ear...just enough to make the tiny hairs there stand on end. My lips graze her ear with every word.
"Listen....i've been busy with trying to find a job and working around your house and i don't know how it happened...but you got shuffled around...me being the dumb ass that i am didnt catch on before it was too late and now i'm here begging forgiveness...so now im asking you..."
I kiss the ear softly, then bring my tongue out slightly grazing the lobe. Sucking the soft skin there and then nibbling it gently. "What can i do to make it all better?"
I sigh and lean into her, easily defeated. There's just something about her that makes me weak. I can't tell if that's a good or a bad thing.
I pick the flowers up and sniff them, a smile spreading across my face as I look back at her. I kiss her lips softly. "You just made it better." I trail my kisses to her cheek and then to her ear. "I've missed you so much."
"Really...I've missed you more...you Mrs.Winslet...are the best addiction i've ever had."
"So..let's get the fuck out of this god damn prison."
I laugh bringing my lips to her softly. "I know this is so cliche', the bad girl sneaks in to wisk the good girl away but...i'm dieing to get out of here..."
I grin evilly. "Out of here and into you." I say snaking my hands into her pants and stroking her softly.
A low moan escapes my lips as I involuntarily move my body against he hand. I bite my lip and push her back on the bed, straddling her. "If you keep this up we won't get out of here and I'll be in you before you know it."
I nip at her neck and lick it slowly, inhaling her scent. I trail a hand up the front of her shirt and lightly run my fingers over and erect nipple through her bra. "Where do you want to go? I want Moore."
I run my hands up her sides, shifting so that my body is pressed firmly underneath hers. I grin up at her.
"We could stay here.." I lick my lips. "It all of a sudden is my favorite place in the world."
I kiss her lips slowly but passionately and then sit up. "You're not getting anything that easily. We're going to have a little talk first." As hard as it was to stop, I couldn't give in yet. We needed to have an actual conversation and stop having sex whenever we saw each other.
"Is the job search any better?" I pick up the flowers and look at her over them, realizing I am still sitting on top of her.
"It's okay...i think i may be onto something with this new plumbing service in town, but the owner said shes still moving in and she can't make any promises."
I sigh and bring my hands back down to her hips. I smile up at her, i kind of enjoyed just sitting and talking. "You are so extremely beautiful." I run my hands up her sides and back down to her hips. "Inside and out you can just see it in you, there's this light....and it makes me feel calm and peaceful...you are..."
I reach up and run a hand down her cheek and look into her eyes, smiling. "...you are the best thing that has ever happened to me."
I frown a little and tilt my head. "Would you like me to help you find something? I can always pull some strings."
I close my eyes and lean my head back, shaking out my hair as she rubs my sides. "I am the farthest thing from beautiful, love. I don't see what you claim to see in me."
A large smile forms on my face as she caresses my cheek. I turn my head and kiss her hand. "I highly doubt that. You're the best thing that has ever happened to ME." I lean a little closer and whisper in my heaviest accent, "And the sexiest."
That voice was too sexy. I am a huge sucker for an accent.
"The sexiest huh, i think you've go me beat in that department but hey, i like being called sexy."
She shook her hair out, i got another sniff of its wonderful aroma. I had to keep my hands glued to her sides, if i took them off they'd fly into her hair. And into her pants. She didn't know how badly i wanted to push her onto her back and fuck her brains out. Run my hands through her hair and pull it tight while shes screaming my name. I grin a bit at my inside naughty thoughts.
"Enough about me baby girl...hows this camp life treating ya?"
I look around and laugh a little. "I can't believe they have you here...this place is so...so...kiddy." I laugh a little again. "Do they change your diapers and give you a fresh bottle too."
I sit up her body still in my lap and kiss her neck softly. "You don't belong here baby, i can feel it...your not happy here. People like you and me aren't built for places like this...we need adventure..."
I kiss her neck again and take her hand in mine, holding up for both of us to see. I entwine my fingers with hers. "We need fire, fun...we need to feel life not just walk by it day by day pretending."
I sigh and kiss her hand entwined with mine. "Kate, ive never felt like this before not with anyone...i think....i think im falling in love with you." I say cutting my eyes from hers and then to the door. "I think im falling in love with you but i'm afraid because...i don't think i'm any good for you."
I take the hair band off of my wrist and pull my hair back into a ponytail. I know the look on her face and we haven't even been together that long.
Are we even together?....
I glance up at her and bite my lip, listening to her talk about adventure and fire and then she says that she's falling for me... And I know I'm falling for her too. My eyes follow her lips as she brings them to my hand and then trace the outline of her face as she looks away.
"I'm falling for you too, Ali. And what makes you think you're not any good for me? You are great for me. We're great for each other. Why can't you seem to accept that? What's wrong?"
I let out a heavy sigh and look her in the eyes. The first step is honesty, and i hadn't been telling the whole truth.
"When we first met... I said i had just come from my previous home."
I take one of her hands in mine and kiss it softly. I knew i'd lose her after i told her what my previous home was.
"My previous home was prison...i did 3 years for manslaughter, my trial was appealed because they said it was self-defense....i didn't have the heart to tell you that i'm.."
I look away and then back into her eyes. "A murderer." I let her hand drop from mine. "The reason why i don't think i'm good enough for you is because i'm a slob..plain and simple white trash. And you.."
I blink back tears. "Your a goddess, and to have some one like me on your arm would be...embarassing."
I look down at the words prison and manslaughter and move my hand away from her's when she lets go. I stand up and walk over to the other side of the room, putting my hands in my back pockets and closing my eyes to regain composure. I was in love with a murderer?
"Was it self-defense?" I can't bring my voice about a whisper and the question comes out a bit scruffy sounding. A tear rolls down my cheek and I make no move to wipe it away, keeping my back to her.
I stand there in silence for a few minutes until something starts to bubble up from the base of my stomach. Anger maybe? I turn to her and push fallen strands of hair away from my face. Although I know I'm on the other side of the cabin, I know she can see the anger flashing in my eyes. Anyone could. "Embarrassing? You on my arm would not be embarrassing. You on my arm would be deceiving. A complete and utter lie because I have no idea who you are anymore."
(Hey ill be back on at 2:00 stay online i have classes!)
I stand up quickly, tears forming in my eyes.
"I was young, he was beating on me and my mother so i killed him...i shot that mother fucker over and over again. Of course my mother hated me for killing him and yeah i got sent to jail but i'd kill that motherfucker again if i had the chance."
Of all the people, my goddess, my baby girl...didn't understand.
"I'm sorry i wasn't honest but you see what happens when i tell people things like this...they run and get afraid of me...and they hate me..look down on me."
The tears escape my eyes, falling dow my cheeks and resting underneath my chin. "And i'm use to that...all of that but from you Kate....you...of all people...not you too.."
I wipe the tears from my face and sit back on the edge of the bed. I needed to go...i think things were just about throgh here.
(i hope you can be on at 2 see ya then hopefully)
I shake my head and take a few steps toward her. "I'm not other people, Alicia. I am not running. I am not afraid. I do not hate you. I do not look down on you... I am hurt by you. By the fact that you didn't tell me from the start so I could tell you that the past didn't matter to me. Instead of lying to my face you could've just put everything out in the open instead of being afraid that I'd leave you. You know me better than that."
The tears sliding down her cheeks makes more spill over from my eyes but I don't wipe them away. I want her to see how she's hurt me.
"You really need to start being honest with me. Now is a very good time."
I stand up from the bed and look at her, then at the ground. I let out a heavy sigh.
"He was my mothers boyfriend...he'd come in at night drunk, and beat on us until one day he pulled a gun on my mother...he laughed at her taunted her but he made one fatal mistake..he put the gun down...i picked it up and shot him...again...and again and again..until all i heard was the clicks from empty chambers."
The gunshots rang out in my head...i could smell the smoke..feel the weight of the hot gun in my hand.
"I was taken away until i got some kind of sympathy appeal and they over ruled it...now i'm free...but you want honesty real honesty..."
I walk closer to her, thinking of him made me angry all over again.
"Apart of me believes it was self-defense...but the other part...deep, deep down inside...knew exactly what she was doing..."
I back away from her, i didn't need this. It's time to move on again...i didn't need any pity.
"If that makes me a monster...a murderer..if it makes you dislike me or hate me...fine..but i wouldn't change blowning that motherfucker away any day."
I move closer to her, close enough that I can hear her breathing, and I look into her eyes. "I understand." That was probably all she needed to hear right now, that someone understood. Maybe that I, in general, understood.
I trail my hand down her arm and then link my fingers with her's, stepping forward to close the space between us. "I understand completely." And I actually did.
I unlink my fingers with hers. She understood on the surface but she was still frightened...still scared. So much for my happy ending.
"Thank you Kate but you don't have to lie were being honest remember..."
I place a hand on her shoulder, rubbing it slightly.
"Nothing i said on that bed was a lie...i feel something different with you, but i don't want to be with someone whose always going to have a slight fear of me in there hearts...besides if your daddy found out..."
I sigh heavily and wrap my arms around her, whispering into her ear. "This ain't a fairy tale Kate...this is reality and nobody's going to let me and you live happily ever after."
I kiss her cheek softly and back away. "I understand if you'd like me to go."
I take her hand back in mine and lift an eyebrow. "There's no one here right now but you and me. And don't question me when I say I understand, because I do. And it takes a lot more than this to make me scared. A lot more. I have been through times in my life when I was terrified. This doesn't even come close."
I step closer to her and wrap my arms around her, restingmy head on her shoulder. "So stop trying to run away," I whisper. "Because I'm not going to let you."
I tried to fight it, the urge to let go...take off from this god damn camp and never look back. But i couldn't get away...because i didn't want to. Her arms, her reassuring voice. She's the only person who wouldn't let me leave, so i was going to stay.
And then those words pop into my head. The three words that i haven't told a single soul in my life. I wanted to say them but they were jammed in my mouth. Stuck there.
A tear escapes my eye and i kiss the side of cheek softly. I lean close to her ear, whispering softly. "I love you."
I whispered it so softly, i don'tk now if she heard me say it or not. But i didn't care i just wanted to say them, because it was true.
I hold her tighter and whisper "I love you too" into her ear. I kiss her ear and then her cheek and then place my lips firmly but softly on her's.
Placing both hands on her cheeks I backaway for a moment. "No more secrets, ok?"
"Alright....if we aren't hiding anymore...i have one more thing i have to tell you...and its the honest to god truth."
I grin a little. "You were the best lay i've ever had."
I kiss her again, slowly and softly. "So you wanna get out of here...or do you want to stay...but i warn you since were being honest now...i think i'm going to make love to you if we stay."
I laugh softly and kiss her again. "I say we stay here then, don't you?" I trail my fingertips under the back of her shirt and kiss her neck.
"Mmmmhmmm." I mumble out, her fingertips and kisses to the neck making me practically speechless.
I hoist her up into the air and then lay her back onto the bed, climbing on top of her.
"Your not being a very good camper, your going to have to be punished....right?"
I say slowly, unbuttoning her pants and sliding them down her body and discarding them. I slowly kiss her exposed thighs.
"You taste so good...i can't get over how good you taste." I say then creep back up her body, and rotate her so she's now stradling my waist as i lay on my back.
"Can you do one thing for me?"
I say griping her sides. "Do that hair thing..you know when you shake it loose."
I smile as she kisses my thighs and move back and forth slowly as I straddle her waist.
I laugh at her suggestion and bite my lip. "Hmm... ok." I pull the hair tie off of my hair slowly and then proceed to shake my hair out, as if I was in a really bad shampoo commercial. "Like that?"
"Perfect." I say leaning back, biting down on my lower lip slightly.
"Now fuck me." I say laying back, grinding harder against her. That hair, it always got me going.
I tilt my head to the side and pull off my shirt and bra, tossing them to the side. Her grinding against me makes me aroused beyond belief, but I need to teach her a lesson.
I take her hands and place one on each of my breasts as I stop moving. I lick my lips and smile. "Ask nicely."
"I dont beg...or ask nicely.."
I grind into her harder, squeezing her breast gently.
I smile widely and shake my head slowly. "I'm sorry I can't do that unless you ask nicely." I sigh and try to look as bored as possible, my eyes looking over the walls of the cabin and the other side of the room.
I start to whistle and look at my fingernails, waiting.
I was really wanting some ass and this whole asking nicely thing was driving me insane. I needed her...now.
"Please..." I say with a fake sad look on my face.
"Pretty please with sugar on top." I say my expression switching to a grin.
I shake my head slightly. "You see what you've reduced me to." I shift up again, my hands on either side of her hips.
"I asked nicely..now wheres your end of the bargain."
"Right..... here." I unzip her pants and slip my hand inside her panties, inserting two fingers slowly. I turn my body in the opposite direction so my back is to her and pull her pants off with one hand.
I lie on top of her, putting us into the 69 position, lift her legs, and proceed to massage her clit with my tongue. It had been TOO long.
I let out a loud grunt, my lower body shivering from being hit from a jolt of pleasure.
I quickly get rid of her undergarment and dive in, my tongue hitting every area in sight.
"Damn baby.." I moan out taking my mouth away from her for a while. All i could feel was the warmth and sensation from her mouth, and it was making me thrust slightly towards her face. I bring my mouth back to her and go straight for a clit licking and sucking it softly.
I bite my lower lip and throa my head back, letting out a loud moan of pleasure as her tongue works on me. I dip my head back down and capture her with my whole mouth, sucking and tasting.
I had been in this posotion before, but not quite like this. My toes were curling up, my head was spinning.
IT was bliss.
I let out another low moan and continue to work, feeling the end coming soon.
I move my lower jaw at a rapid pace, working at a section that I had learned was her spot. I lick it and suck on it while moving my fingers in and out of her harder and faster.
I moan loudly and move my lower body againt her mouth.
I let out a loud shriek when she finds just the right spot to my my knees tremble. I keep moaning her name, louder and louder my hips moving to her mouth more and more.
I move my tongue in slow circles around her clit, lapping up her juices. I lick the length of her clit and rapidly lick and suck the tiny area underneath it.
I scream out her name as I have a mind blowing orgasm and grip the sheets on the bed. My hips buck toward her mouth as I collapse on top of her, trying to steady my breathing.
I kiss her inner thigh and close my eyes, happy to be with her again.
I slowly shift up after what seemed like the best bout of sex in ever. I scot up behind her hugging her closely, our naked bodies slick with sweat. I nibble her ear slightly and smile.
"I love you." I whisper softly in her ear, my hand softly stroking her side.