I've been visiting the cafeteria all too often lately. Perhaps I should go into town and get a real meal one of these days. Hmm, an idea I guess, but I loathe to be away from the library, still so much work to be done.
Despite my best efforts, my stomach takes over and I waltz into the large eatery with a small smile on my face, growing larger once I see Greg sitting on his own.
"Hullo love, how are you?" He looks up with a smile and I just have to say. "You did marvellously at the staff meeting, good job."
"Rachel hi!" I smile. "Thanks, I was very nervous and a bit scared, but it went well...I think," I giggle. "Hey...do you want to join me?"
I feel guilty, I haven't seen Rachel in a long time and I think it's my fault really.
"Just as long as I'm not taking anyone's spot...someone you might be waiting for."
"Mmm, no, I'm going to be seeing Drew later so have a seat."
He smiles as I set myself down and contemplate what to have for some supper.
"And don't worry Greg, you did fine at the meeting. If you were nervous it didn't show much, if that was your first time speaking in front of the whole staff then you did an excellent job."
"Yes it was my first time," I blush. "I don't think I will ever get used to talking to a group of people," I giggle a bit.
Besides the group, it was Keanu. I haven't seen him after the whole I-Love-You thing, so that was making me nervous too. He acted like he didn't even see me, so I guess I was afarid for nothing.
" So how are you?" I look at Rachel.
I fold my hands in front of me, all prim and proper, but relaxed. "Oh, I'm just fine. Working away in the library and meeting some new people."
I met Anne earlier today right here in the cafeteria...and well, Viggo. Viggo was a pleasant surprise, very intriguing.
"How are you dear, you and Drew getting along okay?" I always like to keep tabs on these camp relationships. Maybe they call me a busybody behind my back, but at least I'll be informed if there's any uproar...or heartbreak, seems rampant around here lately.
"We're good...great actually," I blush. "We're living together now," I smile. "Oh Rachel...I'm so sorry I haven't been to the library...we had so much fun then when we went for the drive and I promised to bring Drew to meet you...it's just lots have happened after that and...," I have to take a breath after that ramble. "I'm just sorry..."
I wave my hand at him and smile congenially. "Don't worry your head Greg...the library's not going anywhere. Not as long as I'm here anyway." It's a miracle I'm here at all.
"You and Drew take all the time you have for yourselves." All the times I wish I could have been spending with James come flooding back. Times when I went to conferences, socializing with his parents' stuck-up society fiends (I mean 'friends'). "Time is precious, I wouldn't want to see you and Drew frittering it away."
"We're so happy now Rachel, it's so wonderful," I whisper.
Not sure why I whispered, everyone here knows about me and Drew and I think everyone's happy for us too.
"But I promise I will come and see you, alone or with Drew and I know I should come and clean there too, now that Carl's gone," I sigh.
I nod my head slightly, not really giving away my thoughts of glee at the fact that Carl is gone. There was something about that man that made my skin crawl and frankly, I felt something dangerous about him. I also vaguely overheard a conversation at the solstice party about him...Liv and Karl were quite concerned and Scarlett had been involved somehow. I never had time to ask but...*sigh*...I really should invoke the law into my thoughts; innocent until proven guilty...but my intuition trounced it thoroughly.
"Well, Maggie did offer to help you out with the classrooms, you should ask her if she'd join you in the library. I'm sure she'd be happy to oblige." I reach over and pat his hand, hoping that the thoughts in my head didn't clearly show on my face.
"Yes, I was happy to hear that Maggie wants to help and I really appreciate it," I have so much to do now that Karl needs to be elsewhere.
I just have to get used to letting people help me. It doesn't mean I'm weak or unable, they just honestly want to help me. They all know it's my job and there's still lots left for me to do even if someone will clean the library or something else.
"I will ask her when I need help," I smile. "Or if someone else wants to help me too."
I smile warmly at him and nod my head. "I try to keep the library as spotless as I can...but, I may need some help now and then. And Liv's office is kept pretty tidy. She said that Emma and Scarlett have been coming round to just neaten everything up a bit. Maybe you could ask the girls as well?" Hmm, may be pushing him...and he probably doesn't want to ask for help either.
"You could always go to the tutoring sessions too, I'll bet a lot of your friends will be there and you can work something out afterwards. It's a group gathering so you'll see them all in one place." I should really get a tea, I'm starting to run-on. "Oh don't listen to me, I'm just being silly. Odds are you won't need to ask anyone, they'll volunteer their help...always do. I've seen it." I wink after excusing myself to fetch a tea. "I'll be right back."
I look at Rachel go. She's right, they are always offering their help, I just have to learn to take it. I should also go to the tutoring classes. I could use some other activities and learn new things. And like Rachel said, I would meet my friends there.
I eat and drink and just wait for Rachel to come back.
It's far from breakfast but I saunter back to join Greg with a piping hot cup of English Breakfast tea.
"Ah...that's better. Nothing like a cup of tea to relax you." I take a small sip, it's still steaming and I sound quite the fool speaking with a burned tongue.
I smile at Rachel.
"I was just thinking how right you are. I'm sure I will go to tutoring lessons and I will try to let people help me more," I blush. It's just not easy sometimes...I feel quilty taking money if someone else does my job," I whisper.
I look at him over the rim of my teacup and nod slightly. "I can understand how you'd feel that way...but they're your friends. They're not doing the job for you, they're helping you so you can be more efficient." I put my tea down and take his hand again.
"They don't ask to be paid Greg, and it's not out of sympathy. They know we're understaffed as well. All the campers can see it. They just want to help you so you can have some free time and be ... 'hanging round' with them in your spare time."
He nods and stares back down at his food. "It'll all be okay...and go to the tutoring sessions. Just because you work here doesn't mean you can't study and learn here as well. I'll let Scarlett know that you'll come. Okay?"
Scarlett? Oh right, she's the tutor.
"Oh yes...are you sure, she wants me there?" I ask carefully.
Rachel doesn't know about the whole Keanu-Scarlett-me triangle. It's in the past, but I'm not sure how Scarlett feels about me. She might hate me or feel sorry for me or think I'm being ridicilous or something. I'm a bit scared of meeting her.
I can actually feel the confusion arriving on my face.
"Why wouldn't she want you there?"
"Um, no nothing nevermind..." He laughs and looks down at his food again, playing with it.
Okay...that was somewhat odd. "Of course she wants you there. She's asked for my help finding some books...and well, she's quite nervous that no one is going to show up." Oh durr..I don't even know if I was supposed to keep that under my hat or not. "I'm sure she'd be thrilled if you showed up Greg."
"I hope so...I'm just not so sure about it," I smile awkwardly. "I would like very much to go to the classes...other classes too," I'm trying to change the subject, I don't want to tell Rachel about Keanu, it's so embarrassing. "My mom would love me to learn new things since I can't afford to go to college," I turn my eyes to the table.
Well, there goes the subject change, more embarrasing things about me coming up.